


The Purgatory PTA

by Avenger280



Category: Wynonna Earp (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-16 21:33:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29956188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Avenger280/pseuds/Avenger280
Summary: Alice Michelle is threatened with expulsion from school. Wynonna responds.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	The Purgatory PTA

**Author's Note:**

> (Apologies to Tom T. Hall, Jeannie C. Reilly and Barbara Eden)  
> 

Ok kittens, here goes!

(To the tune of "Harper Valley PTA")

*ahem*

“I wanna tell you all a story  
‘Bout a Purgatory single mom  
With a teen-age daughter  
She been raisin’ all on her own  
Well her daughter came home one afternoon  
And didn’t even stop to play  
She said ‘Mom I got a note here  
From the Purgatory PTA.....’

Well the note said ‘Wynonna,  
We noticed you been drinkin’ way too much  
Plus Alice Michelle’s just been actin’ way too tough  
And we don’t believe you oughta be a-bringin’ up your daughter  
Just like you  
And if this continues, we’re gonna put her out  
Good-bye to you!”

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet  
That very afternoon  
And they were sure surprised when Wynonna Earp  
Stomped into the room  
And as she slammed her bottle on the table I can still recall  
The words she had to say  
She said “I’m here to address the assholes  
Of the Purgatory PTA”

“For years Tucker Gardner heres’  
Been stalking my sister like a creep  
And shouldn’t Cocaine Cleo  
Keep her freedom yells down  
So we all can sleep???

And Dr Reggie, can you tell us why  
Your assistant kinda vanished from this town  
And wasn’t ‘Perky Tits’ warned to keep  
Her PornHub all shut completely down

Well Judge Cryderman can’t be here ‘cause he  
Spent the night in Sheriff Haught’s drunk tank  
And didn’t Bunny Loblaw’s  
Purchase of the PTA completely stank?

And now you have the nerve to tell me  
You think that as a mother I just suck!  
Well at least my kid is honest and true  
So screw you all, good luck!

No I wouldn’t put you on, because it really did  
It happened just this way  
The day my mom busted the balls of  
The Purgatory PTA”


End file.
